Addy Pie

It's been a bumpy road for Addy Pie and I the last few weeks. No, no... I haven't loved her any less, but let's just say it's a good thing she has that smile of hers. Otherwise, liking her at times could be a little tough.

She's going through one of those phases. Nothing is quite right. She whines and whines and even her cuddles seem a bit grumpy. I live for those little "hi"s and the belly laughs, because the rest is a bit rough.

Even at Gramma and Papa's tonite, she struggled. One minute she was having a ball with her sister and Papa and the next minute she was a tired crumpled mess.

Then, she did something she hasn't done in a long time. She let me hold her. Not hold her to feed her, not hold her upright for security. She just laid back and let me cradle her in my arms, tousle her beautiful blonde curls and she sank into the envelope of my grasp.

We both needed it. We just looked at each other and took a breath. Instead of putting her in the car seat, I carried her home whispering "I love you"s and "my precious girl"s into her ear over and over. I carried her into her room and rocked her gently to sleep. And then I just watched her for a while. Her chubby little fingers holding onto me. Her pudgy pink thighs wrapped around my arms. 

"I love you, precious girl. Goodnight."

A little piece of paradise...

It wasn't the beautiful skies that made it, but boy were they dreamy. It wasn't the never-ending ocean or the dolphins that swam alongside us like friends. It wasn't the sand that enveloped our feet and smoothed them better than the perfect pedicure. But, oh how great that was. It wasn't the hammock that cradled and rocked us to sleep in the ocean breeze. It wasn't the smiles and friendly southern, "hi y'all's." It wasn't even the brightly colored houses standing like soldiers in rows or steel drums humming a lullaby to a sleepy sunset. No, no, our perfect paradise was more than all that.

It was a little girl in swimmys screaming "watch me!" for the fiftieth time. It was crawl marks in the sand. It was bagels and cream cheese on the porch and late night trips to the pool. It was "this drive is taking longer than I thought"s and arms outstretched high when we finally reached our destination. It was 2 girls having a screaming contest in the back seat. It was family pictures with a friend. It was watching my husband smile and snuggle his babies. It was long walks and long little girl talks. It was a day on the golf course cheering for Daddy and big hugs to celebrate. It was my little girl snapping like Mary Poppins to "wake the little man that opens the gate." It was holding hands and smiling faces. It was "I love it here" and "I love you"s. It was time with the ones we love best. It was our own piece of paradise.

Photo courtesy of Mandie Joy Photography.

3...and a half

Life's so crazy. 3 years ago today, I was marveling at a 6 month old that could barely sit up. I was learning the ins and outs of motherhood and amazed at the deep love I felt for my little babe.

2 years ago today, my mom had found a play structure for my little munchkin who toddled up the stairs and loved the slide.

Last year at this time, we had a celebration. Now a "big girl" 2 year old, half birthdays became a big deal and she toasted with pop and a hot dog at Target. I toasted the last few days of being the parent of one.

Now, a year later, as a Mom of two beautiful girls, I am in awe of how she's grown. She is a wonderful sister, caring and compassionate. She is a wonderful friend, funny and friendly. And she is the most loving daughter a parent could ask for.

Daddy and I brought her a brownie to celebrate her "half birthday" and sang to her. The biggest milestone today, though, was a girl that can now ride a bike. A milestone that any parent can attest, makes final the transition from stroller riding baby to independent, bike riding kid.

In a matter of hours, Lily timidly navigated the seat and pedals and transitioned to a pro. she was flying down the street like a bird, finally free. I definitely took note of the milestone and a little part of me let go tonite. And a big part of me is so proud.

Addison's Baptism

I didn't figure it all out.




I didn't figure out what exact religious affiliation I want my kids to be a part of. I didn't make peace with some of the injustices in organized religion. I didn't even get over the fact that they made my little girl get naked and made her cry... and that that was the only way to make her holy...




But I did feel love. I felt love for baby girl and bigger baby girl. I felt love for my husband. I felt love for the friends and family that came to celebrate with us, especially those that travelled miles just to be there. I felt love for a God that has given me all of this and more.












And that was enough.




P.S. Addison's godmother wrote her a note promising to be there for "the long haul." And no matter what religion you are, I'm pretty sure, that is enough.


...And one more thing... Had I any doubt God was listening to me, my favorite blogger, Kelle Hampton, wrote a piece about this very thing tonite. Feel free to check it out at
http://www.kellehampton.com/2013/04/a-faith-for-my-children.html

My favorite part I'll leave you with...

"Among meaningful stories of love and kindness, there are a lot of passages in the Bible that make God out to be He Who Demands and He Who Punishes. And for fun, He Who Tests You to See How Much You Love Him. As a mother who understands a little bit about loving children, these concepts aren’t things that align with the ultimate truth of parenthood (that’s what God is, after all)—Love. "


(***And thanks for the pictures, Linds!!**)

Dear Girls,

Disclaimer: I normally try to keep my politics out of my blog, but I feel very passionately about this one and felt the need to put it on paper. Please know that I in no way expect everyone to agree with me, nor do I want you to. I just want my girls to know how I felt. Feel free to skip this post and move onto the next.


Dear Lily and Addison,

Sunday, Addison, Daddy and I are having you baptized. (Lily, you were baptized when you were a baby, too.) For the first time in my life as your parent, I'm afraid I might be making a mistake. Here is why...

I read an article today telling me that Detroit Archbishop Allen Vigneron (a head of the Catholic Church in Detroit) says that those church members who disagree with the church and support same-sex marriage should not take Communion. He even went so far as to say that people with those beliefs should be refused communion. For many years, I have had many beliefs that are not supported by the Catholic Church, but have thought that it was okay for us to agree to disagree. A lot of other Americans feel the same way. I read that over half of American Catholics believe in same-sex marriage, but are still Catholic. Today, however, I think it has gone too far. The Archbishop is making it very clear that it is not okay to disagree with the church and in my opinion, he is trying to bully people into believing what he believes.

Babies, I don't care if you're Catholic or not. What I do care about is that I might be sending you the wrong message. Let me tell you why. I believe that what God wants most for us is to love each other. I believe he wants us to try very hard to be nice to one another and not judge other people. This is what I want most for you, as well. When you see someone different from you, I don't want you to think of how you can exclude them, I want you to seek to understand them. You don't have to agree with them, but I do want you to try your hardest to love them anyways.

When I read this article, my heart hurt. It hurt bad for those that will have to decide today whether being Catholic is important enough to them to abandon their beliefs. Whether they're willing to love people that are different than them a little less because the church told them so. When I read this, I immediately knew that saying "I'm Catholic" is not worth it to me. I don't want to send you the message that compromising your beliefs because someone bullies you to do so should be worth it to you.

Addison, if I decide to baptize you on Sunday, it will be because I want you to get to experience what your sister got to experience. It will be because I want you to know that you were welcomed into a spiritual life of love by those that care for you most, not because I have any need for you to follow some doctrine that an old grumpy man said you should follow. It will be because I want you to have godparents, special ones that Daddy and I chose, to guide you in both your everyday life and your spiritual life, that will love you no matter what you decide to believe.

Most of all, I want you both to know that whether or not you chose a Catholic family, you will always have many wonderful families in your life that will guide you and help you along the way. You will have your Mommy and Daddy. You will have your extended family. You will have all of the friends that we are lucky enough to consider family. And Babies, I want you to chose love. No matter what religion you decide in your life, I always want you to remember to love others and to know that we love you.

Love Forever and Always,
Your Momma

A Little Perspective

One could say I was spoiled, but not in the traditional way. I took the "forbidden", untraditional approach. I let my babies sleep with me and it worked out great for us. I know it's not for everyone, but for me it was the perfect thing. Nursing all night was "self serve" for my babies and meant great nights of sleep for all of us. Totally not the norm.

About a month ago, it was time. Time for both of us. Our cuddly experience started to head south and Addison found a new home in her crib. The funny part is that this welcomed the least amount of sleep for me. Now that she's in her crib, I get up to feed her (yes, I know I don't have to, but I do). It interrupts my sleep a lot more and even when she's in bed with me, it feels foreign and uncomfortable.

Last night, the crib wasn't quite working for her. She got up at 11. She got up at 3. By 5:30, we had both had enough and she was snuggled with me in bed. However, I couldn't sleep. It was no longer easy to sleep cuddled with her and I pouted. Until I got some perspective. I was cuddled under mounds of covers warm and snug. By baby was pretzeled around me safe and content. Whether asleep or awake, what better moment could there be? So I laid there for an hour or so watching her sleep. I stroked her hair and took it all in. How spoiled am I to have such an amazing life with amazing kids. Someday I'm going to miss this. Today, I'm taking it all in.

Long Awaited Update

It's been forever since I've blogged, but as they say, "no news is good news." Both kids are doing great and daily bring smiles to our faces.

Addison turned 9 months in February and is full of spunk. She was almost 28 inches long at her last appointment (55%) and 18.13 lbs. (50%). She is really becoming her own person. She crawls like a pro and cruises all over the house (holding on to furniture). She even knows how to climb to the top of the stairs (to Mom and Dad's dismay!!) She has a killer smile and knows how to use it whenever she's in trouble. She waves and claps and loves to pull her sister's hair while shaking her head "no". She's also a bottomless pit when it comes to eating "real" food. She loves it!

Lily is getting so big! She loved the snow this year and playing in it with her friends, Drew and Sam. She also loves gymnastics and is a pro at somersaults, back flips (off the couch when at home) and the balance beam. She is quick to tell you she gets to do gymnastics on Tuesday (holding up 2 fingers) with Miss. Angela. She also loves to read stories like Ms. Joyce at the library and do crafts. Cooking still remains one of her favorite activities, especially with "Wanie", our cousin that we've gotten to spend more time with lately and she constantly keeps us laughing with her anecdotes.

 One last update... Addison finally got to meet Grandma Juanita! She went right to her and loved her immediately! We went down to Dayton to stay with my Aunt Teresa and Uncle Pat and "Wanie" and had a great time. We're so lucky to have such wonderful family!